Til death do us part

Did you think this was about marriage? Well sorry to disappoint, but it's not...

I used to love the thought of being a travelling monk, no responsibility or accountability to anyone, no arguments, just travel and do what you like. Obviously my idea of it was tinged with a level of escapism. Being in close proximity with the same people in a spiritual community is great but inevitably, over time there are disagreements, quarrels, the rise of envy, pride etc; familiarity usually breeds contempt. It's expected when many conditioned souls who are all trying to purify their hearts come together over a prolonged period of time.

Material relationships generally don't suffer many subtle difficulties because the foundations are usually based on gross activities, and any potential conflict of anarthas (lust, envy, pride etc) hide behind the veil of mutual hobbies and habits. Spiritual relationships are different; yes they are more powerful and rewarding, but to get to that point it's essential to overcome the obstacles we are faced with and eventually we can reap the benefits, otherwise it's all smiles on the outside, with no substance in the interactions.

Sound familiar? Of course I'm not speaking about any of you, these thoughts are from my own mind, but if the shoe fits, feel free to lace it up and wear it.

There are four common instances that the mind processes which are worth being vigilant for:

• Note down every time you feel envious of a friend. (This is difficult and very subtle, but look out for it). A little tip, make a mental note of the dialogue in your mind when you're deciding what to like or what not to like on Facebook.

• Note down every time your intelligence schemes ideas of how to establish yourself as superior to your friend(s) or others.

• Note down every time your mind is trying to find ways to enhance your personal legacy and as a result placing yourself above others.

• Note down every time the mind wrongly sways your opinion about certain situations or in favour of things affiliated with you (familial bias). An example of this is king Dhrtarastra's overwhelming bias towards his evil-minded son Duroyodhana in the ancient historical scripture The Mahabharat; he had lost all discrimination to be impartial and as a result made catastrophic decisions. A 5000 year old scripture with lessons which are just as relevant today within smaller communities. Are we guilty of cultivating the same type of consciousness? 

Fledgling spiritual life is all about overcoming different levels of pride. Actually, what use is mechanically practising spiritual life together as a community if we perpetually allow our consciousness to process and sanction such thoughts which originate from pride?

Awareness of the tactical voice in our head, which is trying to convince us to strategically align ourselves in certain relationships to make ourselves look superior, will only cement our pride even further. It's risky business, it can mean going backwards, experiencing the same lesson in different ways for many years, over and over again until it finally hits us. But even then, when we think we have conquered pride, another test is just around the corner. 

Even before writing this, my mind's default response was to evaluate how I would be perceived; whether it will enhance my public image or not. We all have this ideal version of ourselves that we want to broadcast to the world, but honesty is always the best policy. Being real and simultaneously practicing spiritual life, there really is no substitute for it.  Having said that, it is natural that we will develop friendships with those who are both senior or junior to us, but these things aren't worked out in a rigid and formal way or worse through games of political chess, it develops over time and the relationship mutually takes its natural course through genuine love and appreciation rather than exploitation, obligation or expectation. Friendship should be like this, I'm very fortunate that I'm living in a community where I have the most loving, real, supportive and sincere friends. It's usually that voice in our head that is inhibiting us from great things, all that we need to do is become conscious of it. If you haven't already started, I definitely recommend it.

It must be clarified that this kind of psychology doesn't really make you spiritual, but I'm a great believer that some of these points will definitely help elevate the consciousness to be more receptive to spiritual frequency and imagine how powerful our relationships can be if everyone is starting off with such a fertile platform for spiritual life?

Become more conscious of selfish thoughts, work to eradicate them and love the people who we are around the most, they will be the ones we will live out our life with...Til death do us part.